How many times are we forgiven for backsliding? I sometimes think a million billion times but I feel like ive used up all of my chances so ive kinda not asked God to forgive me for that yet again...I backslide so often...Im confused. Wish I knew the answer!
Yeah yeah i know ive been away and havent posted in over a year....instead of me trying to type down everything thats happened Ill just say Im doing good...family is good...Ill post a couple of pics here of the youngins since they are growing like crazy...
So much has happened since my last entry I wont even try to catch everyone up but....our oldest daughter is living with us now which is scary, exciting all in one. Life is interesting....
School is in for the youngin...she LOVES it and im getting used to being home all day alone which im really loving...shes just stayed home for two days being sick and couldnt wait to get her back lol...shes much better now tho...still losing the same 20 lbs doing whatever kind of diet i can think of...its getting digusting. Have been feeling really weirdish sick for the last few days off and on, dunno what it is, gonna have my INR checked tomorrow and might ask the nurse what it could be...Sis in law and brother are having a war with Satan...not a good one in any way...prayers going out to them all the time...its just freakin nuts!!!! Husband making me crazy with his overuse of pc gaming, but hey what can i say...life is interesting.
No one reads this so i dunno why ive even typing this but...im really thinking about just giving up trying to lose weight...TW I cant do for more than a day or so...LC....fail....it doesnt matter what type of diet it is I just cant change...ive been trying for years and years and I simply fail at everything...so should I give up? yeah
That was "supposed" to have been a video of Sara but I dunno how to post it...anyway heres some pics of the family...Robert (husband) Jason, Roberts oldest son, this children Dax and Bailey and our daughter Sara
Im just the cutest kid ever!!!!
No, nothing seems to be easy for me...yeah i know i could have it soooooooooooooo much worse but at times I enjoy whining....so im gonna whine right now...
First of all...the kido is getting sooooooooo big....a friend gave me a bunch of clothes for her that her girls have outgrown...they were "supposed" to have fit her throughout the summer...yeah....NO....everything I put on her is too tight now!!!!! Yeah....shes too big for even 6x unless its a VERY big 6x...by the time she starts Pre-K4 she will need 7/8. 56 pounder she is!!!!
Okay now for the whiny part...I blogged here last Sept about my gallbladder and needing to go to Little Rock to get it taken out...Well I never did...Thank Goodness I never had an attack...but anyway its been bothering me more and more for the last few months....so I told my doc, he sent me to L.R. (15th) and I talked to a surgern. She said shed do it only with an Oncologists approval, being that I would have to be taken off my blood thinner before I have it done and since ive had a stroke and the blood clotting disorder ect ect...anyway so I see him next Tue (23rd) okay anyway so she said that I most likely would have to have the "open" surgery and not the lap one...which stinks because ill have like a 6-8 inch scar PLUS more pain and suffering...yes suffering...i am not into pain, I am a weiner...okay so to make a long story short...I reckon ill be having the surgery sometime in July...probably on my birthday being that for the last 3 years ive been in the hospital for something or other on my birthday.
Okay NOW im done whining....unless I can think of something else to whine about....God Bless anyone who reads this and take care!!!
It has been months and months since my last post...Im not even going to try to catch up on whats been going on...id have pages of stuff here lol...
Will really try to do better...I will...I will lol...
The last few weeks have been very busy, scary but I pray getting better...
Late last night I finally got out of the hospital...two hospital visits in the last 3 weeks is enough to make anyone nuts!!!!
I wont go into great details but the latest visit was only 4 days but the scariest by far that Ive had in a long long time...well since the med overdose during my Jan (this year) visit...
Vomiting blood, chest pain and a few other complaints turned out to be my INR (blood clotting time) being double what it should have been and ending up with me having yet another stress test and me getting my first and I pray only blood transfusion....getting plasma to help thicken my blood...boy was that scary....when told that "that" is what they needed to do...I not only went over all of the chances of getting "bad" blood...(by the way the chances of getting HIV, and other things from blood is roughly 2 in 2 million which is greatly reashuring but still very scary...but I also couldnt get over the fact that the plasma "came" from someone else...it was a very strange odd feeling...not to mention that I needed meds to help with anxiety that "that" was giving me....I was feeling so ill with the thoughts going on in my head (and my phy things too) that I truly thought I was going to have to tell them to stop the treatment...I dont know if that is common with people who get transfusions but it was a horrible ordeal for me anyway. Even with a million prayers for the Lord to calm me.
But NOW i am home....still need the surgery (gallbladder) but cant till my blood issues are totally resolved...so I have to go back to UAMS (Little Rock Ark.) to see a doc with general surg and then get an appointment to have that done...
I know I have alot of health issues...and I pray for healing, I guess my faith is just too little...I try to work on that but its just very hard for me...Ive been dealing with my health issues for years, but more so in the last 4-5 years...and the last 2 years it seems ive had nothing but endless hospital stays.....I just feel so weak sometimes...I mean I know I am blessed and things could be so much worse...there are people out there that deal with so much more than me....but I am just so sick of being sick....sometimes I feel like God is just not listening or is ignoring my cries for him.....I feel worthless so much of the time...
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